Lunatic's Random Thoughts

 Maybe somewhere I underestimated the power of water. These letters are screaming and preaching about the animosity for water that I carry in my heart. Can you hear these letters? I don't know when I began to love drowning. When the whispers of water called me, I jubilantly embraced every drop of it. But now it's all turning red.  There was this beautiful beginning where the sky was blue and birds were flying all over it giving me hope that even I will fly again. But, now I find no end.  The last truth I knew was me drowning deeper and deeper. Now, this depth has no end. Do I still love drowning? Gravity is no more pulling me down. I'm just in the middle of nowhere.  Where do I begin to find the end? I don't want to be in this water anymore. When everything started, I used to see my reflection there in the water but I chose to make it my own identity, Now I don't know who I am.

 The world I witness as I try to make my own way towards ecstasy. With certain hope to proceed somewhere, where the grass is greener on every side, wanting nothing while striving for everything. But then I saw you there again, the devourer of delicacy. Time fled and faded away leaving me in the vicious cycle of life. As I close my eyes, the mind opens up its secrets and I see myself in the corners where I never wanted to be. The widened eyes take me off though I'm still there.  The place is still inhabited by stone cold carvings. The artist is also there, the You, who wakes me up with unpleasant whispers. Little by little, I'm getting lost in the art, mesmerized, not realizing soon enough that its me being carved.  Devotion substitutes animosity as the reality shatters and lefts me perplexed with forever unanswered question.- Who is the real me?

 I saw you surrounded by metaphysical questions but you seem to care less about the answers. Your heart feels empty but your mind puts you in the places of paranoid where you forget to rip the thread between delusions and reality. You're no longer living in the world others are living and that's where heart gets filled with hegemony of torments, where the soul gets vaporized.  The images you see, the voices you hear are not real but how powerful they are to make a mockery out of you. Things that do not even exist shake the reality of your existence. You are real. You exist however you feel like you're trapped inside someone else's body looking around for help yelling but still unheard.  Dear, you're no longer a human but just a vacuum with nothing within and around. As you close your eyes there is no more lights glistening around but just you alone and your shadow that's too slowly fading away in the middle of dark nowhere ironically you find yourself lost, walk...

 In the odious emptiness of breathes, I find myself remonstrating the self picture of where I am. When everything fades away at a glance, how do I know if I'm not lost in the pages? In antipathy of imagination, imagination that cultivated out of the reality that I travelled, I ask myself: Why am I this way? Did I choose this? OR Did this choose me? I find silent chaos in crowd  AND I feel dark clouds around endowed                                                              Picture  Credit In those clouds, somewhere I find the freedom of wistful isolation and apprehension with unspoken, unheard and unseen numb void, the void that chains me in a place where all I want is escape. When it arrives, it burns me up and turns me into ashes. Yes, now for awhile I'm free because now I'm the ash from where I subtly rise again li...

 Under the Moonlight (Nov 18) Dear Moon, Are you alone?  Every time when I see you, you're fighting and shining through phases half, full, quarter, red, orange, I talk to you. You listen to every heart breaking and happy stories of people as dusk awakens. The long breathe I take mesmerized by you thanking you for listening to me, it makes me realize as if I'm healing even if its just for a second. But today, when I saw you alone hiding behind those white and black clouds in a dark blue sky, I felt as if you're in pain covering those deep- dark scars something gave you. Do you feel alone when there are no stars? I realized, you listen to everybody's problems but, what about yours? Do your scars too carry a deep story behind them? Maybe I'm just personifying you but trust me I felt your loneliness and today after so long you brought me out of my numbness.  When your moonlight sprinkled a cold, soft aura, I realized maybe the everyday suffering of burning light ironica...

Nov 10, 2021   You were just one person but when you were no longer near me why did the whole world felt so empty and shallow. I know nothing of love but I kept asking myself "Do I still have the liberty to love you?" as you never left cause you never stayed though I was still in that place in every ends when you slowly started fading off my sight but I had long stopped waiting since there was no place to expect. You were just one person but you pushed me in the caged rollercoaster of emotions mostly rage and unanswerable questions on why why I chose you over me. Was that a hope or wish or a free will that tied me in chains of your memories? How could  I possibly move on when my entire existence reminded me of you? The wave of air, the seasons, the dreams, the voices, the rain, the people, the constant deja vu, the roads literally everything. You were not with me yet you were everywhere around.  You were just one person but I could never figure out the reasons and condi...