You Were Just One Person

Nov 10, 2021

 

You were just one person but when you were no longer near me why did the whole world felt so empty and shallow. I know nothing of love but I kept asking myself "Do I still have the liberty to love you?" as you never left cause you never stayed though I was still in that place in every ends when you slowly started fading off my sight but I had long stopped waiting since there was no place to expect.

You were just one person but you pushed me in the caged rollercoaster of emotions mostly rage and unanswerable questions on why why I chose you over me. Was that a hope or wish or a free will that tied me in chains of your memories? How could  I possibly move on when my entire existence reminded me of you? The wave of air, the seasons, the dreams, the voices, the rain, the people, the constant deja vu, the roads literally everything. You were not with me yet you were everywhere around. 




You were just one person but I could never figure out the reasons and conditions on how you made me feel this way. What gave me that strength? Was that even a strength or a weakness? There was nothing for me neither did I ask for anything in return but still lingered around with scattered pieces of broken soul, with every piece that carried you that loved you. In every constant reminder of not to fall again I found myself already lying on the ground. 

You were just one person but how could you possibly burn the heart that was stone cold for others. Your heart was with someone else long gone so was mine but with you. Although there was no one for me, I still wished to be there for you. The choices I made to embrace the thorns and jubilantly let every part bleed but in your fragrance rather than to feel the delicacy of another flower's petals. 

No matter the sufferings I know for a fact the day I un love you would be the day I would loose myself because this love makes me feel alive. This builds a part of me where I find myself ,where I know myself and where I'm assured that I'm not lost. The freedom of acceptance that you'd care less is chaotically peaceful and this will go on forever. 

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